Subject:   Beware of The Following Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Your IBM suddenly claims it's
a  MAC.

Monica Lewinsky virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Sucks all the memory out of
your  computer.

Titanic virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Makes your whole computer go
down.

 Disney virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Everything in the computer
goes goofy.

Mike Tyson virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Screws up your RAM but your
processor doesn't care.

Lorena Bobbit virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Turns your disk into a 3.5
inch  floppy.

Woody Allen virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> By-passes the motherboard and
 turns on a daughter card.

Joey Buttafuoco virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Only attacks minor files.

Spice Girl virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Has no real function, but
makes  a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Saves your data, but forgets
where  it is stored.

Dr. Kevorkian virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Searches your drive for old
files and deletes them.

Oprah Winfrey virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80 MB, and then slowly expands to 300 MB.

AT&T virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Every 3 minutes it tells you
what  great service you are getting.

MCI virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Every 3 minutes it reminds you
that  you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus >>>>>>>>>>> Terminates and stays
resident.  It'll be back.

Viagra virus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.

Then there is the Clinton PC >>>>>>>>>>>> It has a six inch hard
drive  and no memory.